It's over...

i feel like some kind of fool now. Cant you have made it clearer? did you have to put me through this kind of turmoil for a week long? It was really unbearable. I kept wondering what we were then. Friends? couple? or what? It was so xin ku. Here, i still really like you, but i had no idea what and how you feel. No indication at all. or maybe i chose to ignore it. Hahs. Maybe i was just delusional and only wanted to see what i wanted to.

Maybe someone should have told me though relationships can be really sweet, it could also hurt like hell when it ends, and i really mean like hell. Especially when one party is still in love with the other. Is there some kind of switch somewhere to turn this feeling off? If there is, please tell me. I need it badly.

Is there actually this thing whereby you have to have the same amt of pain as the amt of happiness you've had? It's all so sweet and happy and all the other good feelings during, but when it ends, it hurts like hell. It's like i have to pay back through feeling like this. i have no idea how to put it to words only that it hurts damn alot. How do people actually stand this kind of feeling? How do they keep going into relationships over and over again? wth. i wonder how long i have to wait for this feeling to go away. Can you please PLEASE stop haunting me? like right now.

I wanted to tell you loads of stuff after i finally knew how it was. But in the end, i guess it wouldnt have mattered to you anyways. you heartless sonofabitch!